Gobstyk's Gaming Club

Can you post a reply with the name of your Elector count and the Province he represents.
(offer open to anyone with an Empire army that wishes to take part in the civil war campaign us imperial types are planning)

Gareth

To Insanity.... and beyond!

Edited by: Pete Delafield at: 9/18/05 4:10 pm

To Insanity.... and beyond!

Kron-Prinz Wolfgang Holswig-Abenauer.
Banished by the usurper and currently resides in the Bretonnian province of Brionne.
He saw a vision of The Lady in a dream,. who told him that to regain his rightful throne, he must foreswear the use of black powder weaponry. His knights thus attire themselves as do the knights of Bretonnia, but still retain the fighting ways of the Empire.
His army also contains a number of Gnomes, who serve him loyally as Swordsmen and Crossbowmen. Their lack of stature is more than offset by their ability to get up and under, delivering a vicious blow to their enemies' nether-regions!

In other words, Adam, you don't actually have an Empire army!

I think we'll all have to gang up on you.

And Gareth, what about your count?

Cheers,

Pete

To Insanity.... and beyond!

A man, on a horse, wearing armour is very much like another man on a horse wearing armour!
I can't go buying another army can I?

To Insanity.... and beyond!

Baron von Lichtenstein is not of any imperial line. In fact the baron is so ugly that I assume his mother dallied with a goat.

Even if his father was human, he is unknown to all, as his mother didn't ask for payment the first time.

Renounce your claim, or be slain upon the field.

Baa ron Von Lichtenstein will never be Emperor.

Yours,

Countess Dieter

To Insanity.... and beyond!

There are winners then there are losers, but above all, there are Lawyers!

Successfully dealing with the Carsteins, Baron Von Lictenstein? I think not! I challenge you to put your life or should I say "unlife" where your mouth is and spend a fortnight in a quaint country village near castle Drachenfels. I think you would find those winter trips to the sunny coast of Estalia would lose there appeal.

And Odd Lillies my dear misguided lady (have you put on weight sice we last met?). My representatives to the court of our dear departed Emperor assure me they can trace the poison used to shorten our noble leaders reign to the Talabheim ambassador. Even though his unfortunate accident with the bar of soap, coat hanger and overly ripe water melon means any chance of extracting a confession from him has gone, there is no chance the electors will see a woman as empress.

I, Regent Jaques Von-Vandervalk to the province of Nordland, on the other hand, is just what the Empire needs in these troubled times. My recent marriage to Margritta XIII of Marienburg has once more united that most wealthy city with my realm (once my mad father finally pops his clogs that is). With the vast wealth that marriage has bestowed me I have command over an army the likes of which has never before been seen north of Middenheim and I will use it if necessary. Too long has the poor north played servant to the wealthier south. Too long have the soft southerners had control in the affairs of the north, sapped what little wealth we had and given nothing in return. I mean to amend this imbalance. The time has come for the count of Nordland to sit on the Imperial throne and I mean to see that happens even if I have to crush each and every one who stands in my way.

VonVandervalk married to a Margritta? Hast thou been able to consummate this marriage, given your condition? According to my sources the rest of thy realm has been before you.

As a poor northerner married to wealth you can have no idea of the true meaning of power. Go, return to your village and play with your baubles. You will find no quarter on the field should you develop any courage and venture there!

My armies are so vast that I shall dispatch a small force, led only by a major, and they shall destroy you should you not renounce your claim.

Yours,

Countess Dieter.

Edited by: WildcardUKFRA at: 9/22/05 8:56 am

Missy odorous diaper, how dare you cast doubt on the validity of my marriage! I'll have you know I have a most skilled apothecary who can create a potion of extraordinary potency!
Whilst you may hide behind the walls of your city and send real men to do mens work I shall personally lead my well drilled, professional (and expensive) army and crush your lap dog major on the field of battle. Then I shall come for you and when I have finished with you, you shall prostrate yourself before me and proclaim me Empereror. And I shall achieve all this before my bedtime!

Having seen your rabble stumble about the field in disarray, I would hardly call them well drilled. However, my army is a shining sword, ready to cut out any heart to serve the Empire.

Von Lichtenstein is a coward, as his heritage would suggest. My spies tell me he seeks to spend his subjects money on mercany armies commanded by the feared Toothcutter Thompson. He seems to believe that such a move would strike fear in our hearts. Let us be rid of this coward, then we can battle to see who is the true heir to the Empire.

Yours,

Dieter

Are you offering an alliance Dilly? You shall have to show more respect to your betters if you want my help in rescuing your head from Lichtensteins axe!

I should point out with but a few hedge wizards and a mad engineers steel contraption I routed a mighty chaos invasion force easily 20 times the numbers of my own. That his how well drilled my troops are! Your army on the other hand is the only one in the empire that mounts it's warriors on turkeys! Let it be known to all who would listen. I shall kill your turkey, stuff it, cook it and it shall make for a wonderful feast at the midwinter celebrations.

Jaques (the dashing) Von Vandervalk.

Obviously you did not here of the route my troops gave to the endless hordes of the undead that did impede upon my realm? If you had, you would surely not seek to incur my wrath.

I shall crush your pitiful army with my own, including the only Pegasus strong enough to become airborne wearing barding (as befits a steed of the Empire). Then when your army is destroyed you will become my lapdog and do my bidding in this war.

As for Lichtenstein, he is a weakling and a coward. I will not crush him until he learns enough about power to lament its loss.

Yours

Dieter.

Ha! So it takes an entire army to kill something that is already dead! Not much to boast about. Wait until you encounter real living men and your pitiful poultry shall perish precipitately.

Take care little lady, your land lies in a very vulnerable position. Are you up to a war on 2 fronts (perhaps 3 if my informants are correct and the Elector count of Reikland also throws his hat into the ring!) Tababecland is not best placed to be ruled by a boastful broad with ambitions she is not fit for! Riekland to the south, Stirland to the east and Nordland to the north. Be careful whom you antagonise!

Jaques (the handsome) Von Vandervalk

That simply means we will not have to travel as far to conquer all who dare lay claim to our throne.

The Elector Count of Reikland has seen these dispatches, I am sure, and yet has not made his claim clear. He must be planning to join with me, the rightful and true Empress.

Yours,

Dieter